var quote = new Array(
"...you're watching 'Star Wars' in the theater and when they say, 'May the force be with you,' you reply, 'and also with you.'",
"At the saying of his first mass Luther later recalled thinking, 'For I am dust and ashes and full of sin and I am speaking to the living, eternal and the true God.'",
"...in 1521, Pope Leo X excommunicated Martin Luther for challenging abuses within the Church.",
"...in 1519, Luther begins his conversation with papal intermediary Carl von Miltitz. It is the job of Miltitz to keep Luther quiet until the papal authorities can figure out what to do with him. The plan didn't work.",
"...rather than introducing yourself to a visitor at church, you check their name out in the guest book.",
"In Luther's day, meat was served on flat loaves of bread because of the absence of plates.",
"...in 1505, Luther took his master's examination. This was the earliest allowable date to take the exam as he had just turned 22 years old. He passed with flying colors finishing second out of seventeen.",
"For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.",
"...during communion you hum the hymns so you can see who's at church that Sunday.",
"You shall have no other gods. What does this mean for us? We are to fear, love, and trust God above everything else.",
"...you've bookmarked www.oldlutheran.com.",
"...during the entire service you hold your hymnal open but never look down at it.",
"Norman Schwarzkopf (1934- ) - In 1991, Schwartzkopf commanded the successful allied invasion of Iraq in the Persian Gulf War. He retired from the US Army in 1992 as a four-star general.",
"Luther said, 'When one asked, where God was before heaven was created? St. Augustine answered: God was in himself. When another asked me the same question, I said: God was building hell for such idle, presumptuous, fluttering and inquisitive spirits as you.'",
"...in 1929, Martin Luther King was born in Atlanta, Georgia. As a child his name was Michael Luther King and so was his father's. In 1935, his father changed both their names legally to Martin Luther King in honor of the Protestant reformer, Martin Luther.",
"While studying at the University of Erfurt, Luther lived in a dormitory that was commonly known as Biertasche or 'Beer Bag.'",
"You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. What does this mean for us? We are to fear and love God so that we do not use God's name superstitiously, or use it to curse, swear, lie or deceive, but call on God in prayer, praise and thanksgiving.",
"...you think Garrison Keillor's stories are totally factual.",
"Due to the Pastor's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.",
"Luther said, 'He who loves not wine, woman, and song, remains a fool his whole life long.'",
"Holy Communion is the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ given with bread and wine, instituted by Christ himself for us to eat and drink.",
"...you make spaghetti at your house with the little macaroni noodles because they're not so messy then.",
"Kris Kristofferson (1936 - ) singer/songwriter/actor. Wrote many of the hit songs of the 70's. Not only can he sing, Kristofferson is a Rhodes Scholar and a former West Point instructor.",
"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. What does this mean for us? We are to fear and love God so that we do not neglect God's Word and the preaching of it, but regard it as holy and gladly hear and learn it.",
"Honor your father and your mother. What does this mean for us? We are to fear and love God so that we do not despise or anger our parents and others in authority, but respect, obey, love and serve them.",
"...you only serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color for the season.",
"Luther said, 'God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars.'",
"Luther's good friend, Philip Melancthon once said, 'I am a logician; and Justus Jonas is an orator; but Luther is good at everything: the wonder of mankind; for whatever he says, or writes, it penetrates the heart, and makes a lasting impression.'",
"...in 1499, Katherine von Bora was born. She would later become Martin Luther's wife.",
"...your choir believes volume is a fair substitute for tonality.",
"You shall not kill. What does this mean for us? We are to fear and love God so that we do not hurt our neighbor's in any way, but help them in all their physical needs.",
"On procrasination, Luther writes, 'How soon not now becomes never.'",
"...the pastor skips the last hymn to make sure church lasts exactly 60 minutes.",
"Martin Luther made such a name for himself that 50 years after his death Shakespeare made Hamlet, the Prince of Denmark, a student at Wittenberg University.",
"...in 1940, the LCMS radio program, the Lutheran Hour, made its first international broadcast.",
"Dietrich Bonhoeffer ( 1906-1945) - openly declared opposition to Nazism. After Hitler cracked down on the church, Bonhoeffer continued his ministry underground and eventually became involved in the plot to assassinate Hitler; he was imprisoned for two years and hanged for his role in the plot.",
"You shall not commit adultery. What does this mean for us? We are to fear and love God so that in matters of sex our words and conduct are pure and honorable, and husband and wife love and respect each other.",
"Evening massage - 6 p.m.",
"...a mid-life crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one.",
"...in 1538, Luther publishes the Schmalkald Articles.",
"Luther wrote, 'War is the greatest plague that can afflict humanity, it destroys religion, it destroys states, it destroys families. Any scourge is preferable to it.'",
"...you don't know what was sooo funny about dat movie 'Fargo' then.",
"While studying at Erfurt, one of Luther's classmates said of him, 'You were at once the musician and learned philosopher of our company.'",
"You shall not steal. What does this mean for us? We are to fear and love God so that we do not take our neighbors' money or property, or get them in any dishonest way, but help them improve and protect their property and means of making a living.",
"Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750) - Born in Eisenach, Germany not far from our hero Martin. Bach is one of the greatest musicians the world has ever known.",
"It is no secret that Luther led a busy life. He is quoted as saying before starting his day one morning, 'I have so much to do today that I shall spend the first 3 hours in prayer.'",
"...you forget to put water in the baptismal font but never forget to put water in the coffee pot.",
"Luther said, 'Wealth is God¡¦s gift. One should not discard it; one should thank God for it and use it in a Christian manner.'",
"...in 1546 Luther died in his birth town of Eisleben. In order that his opponents couldn't say he recanted, Luther was asked this final question: “Doctor Martin, honored father, do you die in the faith in Christ and in the teachings that you have preached in his name? Luther's answer and final word was 'Yes.'",
"Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.",
"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. What does this mean for us? We are to fear and love God so that we do not betray, slander, or lie about our neighbor, but defend them, speak well of them, and explain their actions in the kindest way.",
"Luther said, 'Is it a sin to pipe and dance at a wedding, since they say that much sin comes from dancing?...since it is the custom of the land -- just as inviting guests, decorating the house, eating and drinking and being merry are customary -- I do not know why I should condemn it unless people go out of bounds, and the dance becomes indecent or is carried too far.'",
"In the Middle Ages, the liturgy was said only by the celebrant and hymns sung only by the choir. The congregation had a very limited roll.  Luther changed all this by introducing a congregational hymnbook in 1524, adding strength to his doctrine of the priesthood of all believers.",
"...you think a meeting isn't legitimate unless it's at least three hours long.",
"Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.",
"Luther said, 'God created the world out of nothing; so as long as we are nothing, God can make something out of us.'",
"...peas in your tuna noodle hotdish add too much color. ",
"...in 1540, Luther published Disputation on the Divinity and Humanity of Christ.",
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house. What does this mean for us? We are to fear and love God so that we do not desire to get our neighbor's possessions by scheming, or by pretending to have a right to them, but always help them keep what is theirs.",
"The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the pastor's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her. ",
"...you make change in the offering plate for a ten. ",
"Luther once said in his Table Talks, 'Whenever I happen to be prevented by the press of duties from observing my hour of prayer, the entire day is bad for me...'",
"Luther said, 'For some years now I have read through the Bible twice every year. If you picture the Bible to be a mighty tree and every word a little branch, I have shaken every one of these branches because I wanted to know what it was and what it meant.'",
"...in 1545, Luther publishes the preface to the complete Wittenberg edition of the Latin writings.",
"...in 1522, Luther returns to Wittenberg after being disguised at the Wartburg Castle for 11 months. He goes directly to the pulpit to preach.",
"You shall not covet your neighbor's spouse, or their manservant, or their maidservant, or their cattle or anything that is your neighbor's. What does this mean for us? We are to fear and love God so that we do not tempt or coax away our neighbor's spouse or workers, but encourage them to remain loyal.",
"Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.",
"In Luther's day people ate four meals a day. Wine was served for breakfast. A second (more nutritious) breakfast was served at 9:00 a.m. Lunch was served at around noon and consisted of bread and wine. Supper, the main meal of the day, comprised several courses and was served in the afternoon between 3:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m.",
"Luther didn't want his followers to call themselves Lutheran. In 1522 he wrote the following: 'I ask that they make no reference to my name and call themselves, not Lutherans but Christians. What is Luther? After all, the doctrine is not mine, nor have I been crucified for anyone.'",
"...you think butter is a spice.",
"...in 1491, Luther begins school at the Mansfeld Latin School at the age of 12.",
"I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.",
"I believe that God has created me and all that exists. God has given me and still preserves my body and soul with all their powers. God provides me with food and clothing, home and family, daily work, and all I need from day to day. God also protects me in time of danger and guards me from every evil. All this is done out of fatherly and divine goodness and mercy, though I do not deserve it. Therefore I surely ought to thank and praise, serve and obey God. This is most certainly true.",
"...in 1520, Rome sent a letter to Johann Staupitz, the vicar of Luther's Augustinian order, telling him to restrain Luther or be dismissed. Staupitz resigned his position two months later.",
"Top 10 Nations with the Highest Proportion of Lutherans: Iceland 94% , Norway 90%, Denmark 90%, Sweden 90%, Finland 86%, Greenland 80%, Namibia 50%, Germany 30%, Estonia 26%, USA 6%",
"The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.",
"...in response to someone jumping up and shouting 'Praise the Lord!', you politely remind him or her that we don't do that around here.",
"William Rehnquist (1924 - 2005) - Chief Justice of the United States. Appointed as an associate justice of the Supreme Court in 1971 by Richard Nixon, Rehnquist has served as chief justice since September of 1986.",
"...your dad's name is Luther N., your brother is Luther Hahn and you are Lew Theran.",
"The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.",
"I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried. He descended into hell. On the third day he rose again. He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again to judge the living and the dead.",
"I believe that Jesus Christ-true God, Son of the Father from eternity, and true man, born of the Virgin Mary-is my Lord. At great cost he has saved and redeemed me, a lost and condemned person. Jesus has freed me from sin, death, and the power of the devil - not with silver or gold, but with his precious blood and with his innocent suffering and death. All this Christ has done that I may be his own, live under him in his kingdom, and serve him in everlasting righteousness, innocence, and blessedness, just as Christ is risen from the dead and lives and rules eternally. This is most certainly true.",
"Luther had a stein with 3 rings around it. According to him, the first ring represented the Ten Commandments, the second the Apostle's Creed, and the third the Lord's Prayer. Legend has it that Luther was very proud that he could drink all the way through the Lord's Prayer while his friend Agricola couldn't make it to the Ten Commandments.",
"'Luther said, 'It is impossible to keep peace between man and woman in family life if they do not condone and overlook each other¡¦s faults, but watch everything to the smallest point. For who does not at one time offend?'",
"Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.",
"...the church is on fire, and you rush in to save the coffee pot.",
"Luther often quoted this old German proverb, 'A lie is like a snowball: the longer you roll it, the larger it becomes.'",
"...in 1531, the Smalkaldian Alliance is formed. It is a protective alliance of Protestant princes formed to protect Lutheran lands from Catholic attack.",
"Luther said, 'We should preach the Word, but the results must be left solely to God¡¦s good pleasure...I opposed indulgences and all the papists, but never with force. I simply taught, preached, and wrote God¡¦s word; otherwise I did nothing. And while I slept, or drank Wittenberg beer with my friends Philip and Amsdorf, the Word so greatly weakened the papacy that no prince or emperor ever inflicted such losses upon it. I did nothing; the Word did everything.'",
"Reflecting on his marriage to Katherine, Luther said, 'I would not want to exchange my Kate for France nor for Venice to boot; to begin with (1) because God has given her to me and me to her; and (2), because I often find out that there are more shortcomings in other women than in my Kate.'",
"...you have more than five flavors of Jell-O in your pantry.",
"I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Amen",
"I believe that I cannot by my own understanding or effort believe in Jesus Christ my Lord, or come to him. But the Holy Spirit has called me through the Gospel, enlightened me with his gifts, and sanctified and kept me in true faith. In the same way the Holy Spirit calls, gathers, enlightens, and sanctifies the whole Christian church on earth, and keeps it united with Jesus Christ in the one true faith. In this Christian church day after day the Holy Spirit fully forgives my sins and the sins of all believers. On the last day the Holy Spirit will raise me and all the dead and give me and all the believers in Christ eternal life. This is most certainly true.",
"...in 1507, Luther was ordained a priest in the cathedral of Erfurt.",
"Ushers will eat latecomers.",
"Luther said, 'If you are highly pleased when someone praises you in the presence of others; if perhaps you look for praise, and would sulk or quit what you are doing if you did not get it - if you are of that stripe, dear friend, then take yourself by the ears, and if you do this in the right way you will find a beautiful pair of big, long, shaggy donkey ears.'",
"States with Highest Proportions of Lutherans in the Population (1990) North Dakota 36.5%, Minnesota 33.9%, South Dakota 30.3%, Wisconsin 26.2%, Nebraska 16.3%, Iowa 15.4%, Montana 12.2%, Pennsylvania 8.6%, Michigan 8.3%, Washington 7.8%, Illinois 7.6%, Colorado 7.3%",
"Peter Beskendorf (? - 1538) - Luther's barber. Apparently, while cutting Luther's hair, Beskendorf asked him, 'Dr. Luther, how do you pray?' In response to this question, Luther wrote a 40 page letter titled, 'A Simple Way to Pray, for a Good Friend,' published in 1535.",
"...you talk to someone else and look at their shoes first.",
"After singing with some friends, Luther commented, 'Music is an outstanding gift of God. I would not want to give up my slight knowledge of music for a great consideration. And youth should be taught this art; for it makes fine skillful people.'",
"The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.",
"On reading the Bible, Luther said, 'For some years now I have read through the Bible twice every year. If you picture the Bible to be a mighty tree and every word a little branch, I have shaken every one of these branches because I wanted to know what it was and what it meant.'",
"Luther counts success in the mission field among the 'fruits of the Spirit.' Hear are some of his thoughts: 'The godly rejoice when the Gospel is widely spread, many come to faith, and Christ's kingdom is increased in this way.'",
"...you have more than three friends whose first names have the letter 'j' as the second letter. ",
"On tax day, it is appropriate to look at some of Luther's thoughts on the subject of money. Here are a couple of quotes: (1)'When you have money, you will easily despise the God whom you also have.' (2) 'To put it very briefly, God does not want us to serve money and possessions. Nor does He want us to worry. But He does want us to work and leave the worry to Him.'",
"Our Father who art in heaven; hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen.",
"During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit. ",
"At the second hearing of the Diet of Worms, Luther says, 'Unless I am convicted by Scripture and plain reason - I do not accept the authority of popes and councils, for they have contradicted each other - my conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and I will not recant anything, for it is neither safe nor right to go against conscience. I cannot do otherwise, here I stand, may God help me. Amen.'",
"...the only open pew is up front, so you volunteer to shovel the sidewalk. ",
"A woman brought an old book into a store specializing in old volumes. The dealer studied the book and said, 'This is a rare find, a Gutenberg Bible. It's worth a fortune!' The woman says, 'I had two of them, but I threw the other one out. Some guy, named Martin Luther, had written all over it !'",
"Dana Carvey (1952 - ) comedian/actor. Known especially for his role in the hit movie Wayne's World, Carvey was also a longtime member of the Saturday Night Live cast where he impersonated many public figures including George Bush and Ross Perot. He also developed the famous 'Church Lady' skit and was Hans in the 'Hans & Franz' skit.",
"...Ole and Lena are really the names of your relatives. ",
"Speaking on the purpose of the church service, Luther commented, 'The greatest and principle purpose of every church service is to preach and teach God's Word.'",
"Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on 'It's a Terrible Experience.'",
"Luther said, 'To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing.'",
"...in 1518, the Heidelberg Disputation begins. At this meeting, Luther participates in a discussion on some of the newer evangelical ideas of the day. Luther took this opportunity to present his theology of the cross.",
"...you know what a Lutheran Church Basement Woman is. ",
"On education, Luther says the following: 'You parents cannot prepare a more dependable treasure for your children than an education in the liberal arts. House and home burn down and disappear, but an education is easy to carry off.'",
"Our Father who art in heaven. What does this mean? Here God encourages us to believe that God is truly our Father and we are God's children. We therefore are to pray to God with complete confidence just as children speak to their loving father.",
"Luther said, 'It is the part of a Christian to take care of their own body for the very purpose that by its soundness and wellbeing they may be enabled to labor... for the aid of those who are in want, that thus the stronger member may serve the weaker member, and we may be children of God, and busy for one another, bearing one another's burdens, and so fulfilling the law of Christ.'",
"...you give a party and don't tell anyone where it is. ",
"...in 1507, Luther celebrated his first Mass in the monastery church in Erfurt. ",
"Stewardship Offertory: 'Jesus Paid It All' ",
"...in 1521, Luther was captured by 'bandits' on his way home from Worms. He was taken to safety in Wartburg. Luther knew about the capture beforehand. The front of thievery allowed Frederick to escape charges of harboring a heretic. During his stay at Wartburg Castle, Luther translated the New Testament from Latin into German which allowed common folk to read it for the first time.",
"Here Luther discusses attributes of a good preacher:  'It is commonly said that these three are the three qualifications which mark a good preacher: First, that they stand straight when in the pulpit; secondly, that they speak up and say something worthwhile; thirdly, that they know when to stop.'",
"...you think hotdish is one of the major food groups. ",
"Luther said, 'The heart of religion lies in its personal pronouns.'",
"...in 1521, Emporer Charles V signed the warrant for Luther¡¦s arrest. From this day onward, it became treason against the emporer and blasphemy against the church to give Luther any kind of assistance.",
"Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.",
"...in 1521, Luther arrives at Wartburg Castle where he would remain for 11 months. While staying at Wartburg, Luther grew his hair and beard to disguise himself from Roman Catholic Authorities. He dressed as a soldier and took on the name 'Knight George.'",
"...your five-year-old recites the Old Testament books as Genesis, Exodus, Lutefisk... ",
"Hallowed be thy name. What does this mean? God's name is certainly holy in itself, but we ask in this prayer that we may keep it holy. When does this happen? God's name is hallowed whenever God's Word is taught in its truth and purity and we as children of God live in harmony with it. Help us to do this, heavenly Father! But anyone who teaches or lives contrary to the Word of God dishonors God's name among us. Keep us from doing this, heavenly Father!",
"...in 1525, Martin Luther asks Katherine von Bora to be his bride.",
"...someone asks you after church if there's any 'decaf coffee' and you laugh because you KNOW that if it doesn't have caffeine, it can't be coffee!",
"Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.",
"...in 1529, Luther published the Small Catechism. ",
"...in 1814 Norway became an independent nation when Norwegian delegates met in Eidsvold and elected Prince Christian Frederick to be the King. 'Syttende Mai' as the day is called by Norwegian Americans is celebrated in America with ethnic foods, crafts, parades, costumes and various other Norwegian traditions. In Norway the day is celebrated with children's parades. Even the smallest villages hold parades for the children! Today, 90% of Norwegians are Lutheran.",
"Luther said, 'When Jesus Christ utters a word, He opens His mouth so wide that it embraces all Heaven and earth, even though that word be but in a whisper.'",
"...in 1505, Luther begins law school at University of Erfurt. He is required to teach philosophy for the Liberal Arts program and to begin his studies by memorizing the titles of laws.",
"Anyone interested in being the Adult Disciplining Coordinator should contact the church secretary.",
"...you think anyone who says 'casserole' instead of 'hotdish' is trying to be uppity.",
"Johann Tetzel, who was selling indulgences to Luther's parishioners, used this little jingle to convince people to buy indulgences...'As soon as the coin in the coffer rings, The soul from purgatory springs.' Tetzel's sale of indulgences spurred Luther to post the 95 Theses.",
"Bruce Willis (1955 - ) actor. Born on a military base in Germany, Willis was later confirmed at Trinity Lutheran Church in Carney's Point, New Jersey. Isn't it great to know that this 'super star' once had to memorize Luther's Small Catechism?",
"...in 1501, Luther begins studying the arts at the University of Erfurt, at that time, one of Germany's oldest and most prestigious universities. His father picked the school and paid the tuition.",
"Thy kingdom come. What does this mean? God's kingdom comes indeed without our praying for it, but we ask in this prayer that it may come also to us. When does this happen? God's kingdom comes when our heavenly Father gives us the Holy Spirit, so that by God's grace we believe God's holy Word and live a godly life on earth now and in heaven forever.",
"...in 1521, the Edict of Worms is signed by the emperor. The edict formally condemns Luther's teachings and places him under the ban of the Empire.",
"While trying to persuade the councilmen of all cities in Germany on the importance of education, Luther said: 'A town does not thrive in that it accumulates immense treasures, builds sturdy walls, nice houses, many muskets and suits of armor alone. On the contrary, a town's best and most prosperous progress, welfare and strength, comes from having many excellent, educated, decent, honest and well brought-up citizens.'",
"...you think the term 'Jell-O salad' is redundant. ",
"22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why. ",
"Luther said, 'Don't argue with the Devil...he has had five thousand years of experience. He has tried out all his tricks on Adam, Abraham, and David, and he knows exactly the weak spots.'",
"...in 1930, the LCMS radio program The Lutheran Hour made its debut.",
"Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. What does this mean? The good and gracious will of God is surely done without our prayer, but we ask in this prayer that it may be done also among us. When does this happen? God's will is done when God hinders and defeats every evil scheme and purpose of the devil, the world, and our sinful self, which would prevent us from keeping God's name holy and would oppose the coming of God's kingdom. And God's will is done when God strengthens our faith and keeps us firm in God's Word as long as we live. This is God's gracious and good will.",
"Luther said, 'I would not give one moment of heaven for all the joy and riches of the world, even if it lasted for thousands and thousands of years.'",
"Luther said, 'If God is for us, who can be against us?'",
"The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. ",
"...you hear something really funny and smile as loud as you can. ",
"Tom Landry (1924 - 2000) former coach of the Dallas Cowboys. Landry led the Cowboys to two super bowl victories and ranks third all-time among NFL coaches with 270 wins. ",
"...in 1526, Hans Luther is born to Martin and Katherine. The Luther's would go on to have six children, two of whom would die before the age of 14. ",
"Luther said, 'I would never have thought that such a storm would rise from Rome over one simple scrap of paper...'",
"Luther said, 'Where God builds a church, the devil builds a tavern next door.'",
"...it takes 10 minutes to say good-bye. ",
"Give us this day our daily bread. What does this mean? God gives daily bread, even without our prayer, to all people, though sinful, but we ask in this prayer that God will help us to realize this and to receive our daily bread with thanks. What is meant by 'daily bread'? Daily bread includes everything needed for this life, such as food and clothing, home and property, work and income, a devoted family, an orderly community, good government, favorable weather, peace and health, a good name, and true friends and neighbors.",
"Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance. ",
"...in 1525, Luther married Katherine von Bora. The couple made a home out of the former Augustinian monastery in Wittenberg.",
"Some of the gifts Martin and Katie received at their wedding were a silver beer stein from Wittenberg University, a cask of Einbecker beer from the town council, and 50 Gilders from Archbishop Albrecht from Mainz.",
"...in 1520, Pope Leo X issues the bull of excommunication against Luther. It is entitled Exsurge Domine. Luther has 60 days to recant his writings.",
"Luther said, 'A Christian congregation should never assemble unless God's Word is preached and prayer is offered, no matter for how short a time this may be.'",
"...you freeze the leftover coffee from fellowship hour for next week. ",
"The rose on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.",
"Because of his love of Greek,  Philip, Luther's student, friend, and fellow Reformer changed  his name from the German 'Scwarzerdt' to the Greek 'Melanchthon' which, in English, means black earth.",
"...in 1530, the first meeting of the Diet of Augsburg was held. The meeting was delayed because the emperor had not been able to reach Augsburg in time for the convocation.",
"William H. Macy (1950 - ) actor. Macy is perhaps best known for his role as car salesman Jerry Lundegaard, in the 1996 movie Fargo.  He earned an Oscar nomination as Best Supporting Actor for this role. Also, Macy is quoted as once saying, 'I am Lutheran down to my socks.'",
"...they have to rope off the last pews in church so the front isn't empty. ",
"And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. What does this mean?  We ask in this prayer that our Father in heaven would not hold our sins against us and because of them refuse to hear our prayer. And we pray that God would give us everything by grace, for we sin every day and deserve nothing but punishment. So we on our part will heartily forgive and gladly do good to those who sin against us.",
"In the Chinese Zodiac, Martin Luther is a Rabbit. Other famous Rabbits include: Brad Pitt, Nicolas Cage, Helen Hunt, Bob Hope, Frank Sinatra, Albert Einstein, Orson Wells, Walt Whitman, Andy Warhol, Anjelica Huston, Sting, and U.S. President John Adams.",
"...in 1530, the Augsburg Confession is read before the imperial diet. It is a deliberately moderate Lutheran confession of faith containing both doctrine and a list of ecclesiastical abuses that demand remedy.",
"This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.",
"...in 1519, Luther and Carstadt debate Eck at Leipzig. The substance of their debate is on the issue of indulgences and more specifically whether the pope has the authority to make statements about indulgences. ",
"In a letter to Georg Spalatin, Martin Luther swore that 'they will never force a wife on me.' Four years later, he married Katherine von Bora.",
"...you tap a church visitor on the shoulder and say, 'Excuse me, but you're in my seat.'",
"By 1523, Luther's works had been through 1,300 printings totaling a half million copies.",
"And lead us not into temptation. What does this mean? God tempts no one to sin, but we ask in this prayer that God would watch over us and keep us so that the devil, the world, and our sinful self may not deceive us and draw us into false belief, despair, and other great and shameful sins. And we pray that even though we are so tempted we may still win the final victory.",
"...in 1505, Luther was returning to the University of Erfurt from his parents home in Mansfeld when he was surprised by a severe thunderstorm. A bolt of lightning struck near him and knocked him to the ground. Fearful for his life, Luther cried out, 'Help me Saint Anne, I will become a monk.' Two weeks later he entered the monastery.",
"Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.",
"...you doodle on the back of communion cards. ",
"Garrison Keillor (1942 - ) actor/singer/author/humorist. Keillor is the host and creator of the popular National Public Radio program A Prairie Home Companion. In 1994 he was inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame. Keillor is famous for his description of the fictional Lake Wobegon: 'where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.'",
"John Wesley, is credited with first translating Luther's hymns into English about 1735.",
"...you don't make eye contact when passing someone in the hall because you think it's impolite. ",
"Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing 'Put Me In My Little Bed' accompanied by the pastor.",
"Luther's favorite meal was pea soup and herring.",
"But deliver us from evil. What does this mean?  We ask in this inclusive prayer that our heavenly Father would save us from every evil to body and soul, and at our last hour would mercifully take us from the troubles of this world to heaven.",
"...you can say the meal prayer all in one breath. ",
"Luther once said of The Lord's Prayer, 'Today I say it one way, tomorrow another, depending on how warm and eager I am.'",
"...doughnuts are in the official church budget. ",
"Thursday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.",
"Luther was very fond of calling his wife Katie his 'Selbander,' or better half. ",
"...Bach is your favorite composer just because he was Lutheran, too. ",
"...in 1505, Luther entered the monastery in Erfurt, joining the Augustinian Eremites. ",
"Luther said on vocation, 'Only look at your tools, your needle, your thimble, your beer barrel, your scales, your articles of trade, your measures, and you will find this saying written on them: ¡¥My dear, use me toward your neighbor as you would want your neighbor to act toward you with that which is theirs.''",
"This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mr. Vassilas to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.",
"...you hesitate to clap for the church choir or special music because 'it just wasn't done that way in the old days.' ",
"Luther said, 'Any and every thing, if it is to be done well, demands the entire self, all the mind and faculties.'",
"...your church library has at least three Jell-O cookbooks. ",
"Luther had 3 rooms set aside in his house for lecturing. He would often invite his students to his home for lectures instead of lecturing at the University. The students would then stay for supper and write down Luther's ideas. The notes his students took were later to become 'Table Talk.'",
"For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen. What does 'Amen' mean? Amen means Yes, it shall be so. We say Amen because we are certain that such petitions are pleasing to God in heaven and are heard by God. For God has commanded us to pray in this way and has promised to hear us.",
"Commenting on how he wrote his hymns, Luther said, 'The text and the music must come from our mother tongue and voice, otherwise it's all imitation....'",
"...it's time to change a light bulb and the left side of the aisle begins a debate on 'change,' while the right side of the aisle musters five volunteers--one to hold the bulb, and four to turn the ladder.",
"The service will close with 'Little Drops of Water'. One of the ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation will join in.",
"Lou Gehrig (1903 - 1941) Famed baseball player whose life was cut short by the disease that now bears his name. He was raised in a very devout Lutheran household. Reportedly, Gehrig was once asked by a New York City reporter if he was Jewish -- Gehrig proudly replied that he was a Lutheran!",
"At Wittenberg University, debate was seen as essential to the educated mind. The universtiy did not just pay bonuses to faculty participating in such debates; it also levied fines against those who did not participate. Debates provided an important part of the town¡¦s recreation, with disputation halls often packed full with town-folk.",
"Kevin Sorbo (1958 - ) - actor. Kevin rose to stardom while playing the title character in the television series Hercules.",
"It was said that on Sundays after breakfast, Luther enjoyed having his hair and beard trimmed before he went to preach.",
"...in 1521, Luther writes, 'God does not save those who are only imaginary sinners. Be a sinner, and sin boldly, but let your trust in Christ be more bold, and rejoice in Christ who is the victor over sin, death, and the world.'",
"...you sign a petition to have Campbell Soup Co. rename its 'Cream of Mushroom soup' 'Lutheran Binder!'",
"Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.",
"On translating the book of Job, Luther wrote, 'We have so much trouble translating Job, on account of the grandeur of his sublime style, that he seems to be much more impatient of our efforts to turn him into German, than he was of the consolation of his friends; and how hard it is to make the Hebrew writers speak German. They withstand our efforts, not wishing to give up their native tongue for a barbarous idiom, just as the nightingale would not change her sweet song to imitate the cuckoo whose monotonous note she abhors.'",
"...you actually think the pastor's jokes are funny.",
"Luther made this observation to a friend shortly after he married Katharine von Bora: 'Now I don't have to sit alone at the table and, when I wake up, I see a pair of braids lying next to me.'",
"...in 1518, Luther is summoned to appear in Rome within sixty days to answer the charges against him.",
"Preparing for a large feast, Luther wrote a friend, 'My Master Kate (Luther's wife) has cooked up seven of what they call quarts, into which she has mixed thirty-two bushels of malt, because she wants to tickle my palate. She hopes it will turn into good beer. Whatever it is, you shall all taste it.'",
"Johannes Kepler (1571-1630) - German astronomer. Kepler's work in planetary motion helped form the groundwork of Isaac Newton's discoveries.",
"The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.",
"What is Baptism? Baptism is not water only, but it is water used together with God's Word and by his command.",
"Katherine Luther's nickname was 'Morning Star of Wittenberg.' She was said to be up by 5:00 a.m. each day to prepare breakfast for the family and the many guests that stayed at the Luther's house.",
"... you pronounce the word Lutheran 'Lutern.'",
"A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.",
"Of all the books published in Germany during the first ten years of the Reformation, Luther wrote one-quarter of them.",
"...in 1513, Luther begins lecturing on the Psalms.",
"...requests you hear are preceded or followed by the phrase, 'If it's not too much trouble then...' ",
"Luther said, 'In music, all the notes and the melody should be adapted to the text. The poet Virgil taught me this, for in all his poetry he admirably understood how to adapt the words to his subject.'",
"What is this Word? In Matthew 28 our Lord Jesus Christ says: 'Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.'",
"...you know all the words to the first verse of 'Silent Night' in German but can't speak a word of it. ",
"Gary Larsen (1950 - ) cartoonist. Larsen created the famous comic strip 'The Far Side.' You've probably seen his work in a calendar like this one.",
"Katherine Luther once said of her husband Martin, 'Had my husband been so inclined, he would have become very rich.'",
"...you carry silverware in your pocket to church just in case there's a potluck. ",
"In Luther's day, forks and knives were not part of the table setting. This explains why soup was the preferred meal.",
"The Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.",
"When observing a bird in the family garden, Luther said, 'Oh you dear little bird, do not fly away, I love you with all my heart if you could only believe me. But thus we also lack faith in our God.'",
"...you have an uncontrollable urge to sit in the back of any room. ",
"... P.M.S. is defined as 'Post Merger Syndrome.'",
"Luther was an accomplished lute player. It is said that Luther would occasionally take out his lute and sing with his guests after having dinner at his home.",
"What benefits does God give in Baptism? In Baptism God forgives sin, delivers from death and the devil, and gives everlasting salvation to all who believe what he has promised.",
"...your house is a mess because you're 'saved by Grace,' not by works. ",
"Hans Lufft was the most famous printer of the Reformation era. In 1534 his publishing house printed the first German Bible.",
"Katie Luther's favorite Psalm was the 31st. When they were first married, Martin asked Katie to memorize it, saying, 'It will be a comfort to you.' It was a comfort to her. At the time of her death, the children recall that Katie repeated the Psalm constantly.",
"...the doilies underneath the Thanksgiving flowers make nice snowflakes at Christmas. ",
"Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.",
"...your mother reminds you often that she wishes you'd studied the organ. ",
"Gary Lewis (1946 - ) recording artist. Lewis founded the 60's group Gary Lewis and the Playboys. They sang the hit song 'This Diamond Ring.' In 1965 this song made it to #1 on the Billboard charts. ",
"...you think the communion wafers are too spicy. ",
"What is God's promise? In Mark 16 our Lord Jesus Christ says: 'He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.'",
"In Luther¡¦s day, the language of the people varied from region to region and even town to town. Luther realized that if the Bible he was translating was going to be read by anyone, he had to create a language that could touch the hearts of all Germans. Luther cleverly combined the bureaucratic 'Kanzleisprache with popular expressions of the common people to create what is regarded as the guideline upon which the 'standard' German was built.",
"... you dress up as your favorite reformer for Halloween. ",
"The Luther family had a dog named Clownie.",
"The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.",
"Top 10 Largest National Lutheran Populations Germany 14,290,400 - USA 8,319,591 Sweden 7,630,000 - Finland 4,577,106 Denmark 4,539,773 - Norway 3,800,000 Indonesia 2,367,539 - Tanzania 2,200,000 Ethiopia 1,625,994 - Madagascar 1,500,000",
"Legend has it that Luther's Hymn, 'A Mighty Fortress Is Our God,' was written to the tune of a popular tavern song.",
"...you think lime Jell-O with cottage cheese and pineapple is a gourmet salad. ",
"The Reformation was the turning point in the histor of literacy. Luther was a pioneer in advocating the still radical idea that people are perfectly capable of doing their own thinking and reaching their own conclusions.",
"How can water do such great things? It is not water that does these things, but God's Word with the water and our trust in this Word. Water by itself is only water, but with the Word of God it is a life-giving water which by grace gives the new birth through the Holy Spirit. St. Paul write in Titus 3: 'He saved us...in virtue of his own mercy, by washing of regeneration and renewal in the Holy Spirit, which he poured out upon us richly so that we might be justified by grace and become heirs in hope of eternal life. The saying is sure.'",
"...you think that an ELCA Lutheran bride and an LCMS groom make for a 'mixed marriage.'",
"Paul Luther, Martin & Katie's son, once wrote to a friend, 'My mother has not only cured many women, but also many men from hard suffering. Numberless men and women has she nursed back to health in our house.'",
"...Folgers has you on their Christmas list. ",
"At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What is Hell?'. Come early and listen to our choir practice.",
"...your congregation's first two operating rules are 'Don't change' and 'Don't spend.' ",
"Legend has it that St. Martin (from whom Martin Luther got his name) was a 4th century soldier who cut his cloak in two to give half to a beggar one winter's night. He later became Bishop of Tours in France.  He also gave his name to two birds, the martin and the martlet.",
"Luther wrote, 'Whether you wish to comfort the sad, to subdue frivolity, to encourage the despairing, to humble the proud, to calm the passionate or to appease those full of hate, what more effective means than music could you find?'",
"Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.",
"...your LCMS pastor refers to St. Louis as 'the holy city.' ",
"What does Baptism mean for daily living? It means that our sinful self, with all its evil deeds and desires, should be drowned through daily repentance; and that day after day a new self should arise to live with God in righteousness and purity forever. St. Paul writes in Romans 6: 'We were buried therefore with him by Baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.'",
"Dr. Seuss (1904 - 1991) - The pen name of Theodor Seuss Geisel. He was a famous American writer and cartoonist best known for his collection of children¡¦s books. It would have been fun to hear the Dr. Seuss version of the Small Catechism!",
"While translating the Bible into German, Luther met weekly with a group of friends he called, 'the Sanhedrin' to revise and correct the translations. It was said that Melancthon brought the Greek text, Kreuziger brought the Hebrew and Chaldee and the other members of the group were the preachers Bugenhagen, Jonas, Rorer and Aurogallus. ",
"Lucas Cranach the Elder (1472-1553) the painter, printmaker and friend of Martin Luther was  enlisted by Luther to do engravings and woodcuts portraying the message of the Reformation to the many who could not read.",
"Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.",
"...you're at an evangelistic rally and you actually manage to raise your hands waist high.",
"John Mellancamp (1951 - ) musician. Mellancamp burst onto the music scene in the early 80's with his hit song 'Jack and Diane.' He would go on to become a cofounder of the Farm-Aid organization whose aim is to help the farm economy. ",
"Shortly after Martin Luther died, Germany was thrust into war. Katie Luther eventually had to move from Wittenberg and live with friends in various cities in Germany. At the time of her death, this is how her will read: To Margaret (daughter), the linen and the featherbed. To the boys, their father's books. The pewter, copper, brass, chests and furniture to be divided equally among all, but the handsomest chest is for Margaret. From the linen Margaret is to give each of her brothers enough for a bed, also a tablecloth and hand towel.",
"The Associate Pastor unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge-Up Yours.'",
"...in 1520, Luther publishes The Babylonian Captivity of the Church. In it, he attacks the denial of the cup to laity, the mass as a sacrifice, and the seven (as opposed to two) sacraments. He was excommunicated two weeks later.",
"What is Holy Communion? Holy Communion is the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ given with bread and wine, instituted by Christ himself for us to eat and drink.",
"...the only mealtime prayer you know is 'Come Lord Jesus.' ",
"Next Sunday is the family hay ride and bonfire at Pastor Johnson's house. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time. ",
"In 1492, a nine year old Martin Luther sat in Latin class as Christopher Colombus discovered America.",
"...you and your family of six squeeze into the last pew along with the 140 members already sitting there. ",
"...in 1518, Luther meets Cardinal Cajetan in Augsburg, Germany to discuss the charges against him. Luther is suspected of heresy. It is Cajetan's job to convince Luther to fall in line with Rome or be burned at the stake. Luther arranged for protection ahead of time and was able to sneak away by night.",
"Where do the Scriptures say this? Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Paul say: Our Lord Jesus Christ, in the night in which he was betrayed, took bread; and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, 'Take, eat, this is my body, which is given for you; this do in remembrance of me.' After the same manner also he took the cup after supper, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, 'Drink of it, all of you; this cup is the new testament in my blood, which is shed for you, and for many, for the remission of sins; this do as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.'",
"At the time of Luther's birth, the infant mortality rate was 60%. Needless to say, the family had Martin baptized as soon as possible. At that time, it was a common fear that an unbaptized baby who perished would not go to heaven.",
"...you're 57 years old and your parents still won't let you date a Catholic. ",
"The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.",
"Philip Melanchthon (1497-1560) - Luther called him 'the greatest theologian ever, a man whose writings were superseded only by Holy Scripture.' Melanchthon established the first public school system in Germany. He is also considered the Reformation¡¦s first systematic theologian. Perhaps his most famous achievement is authoring the Lutheran doctrinal statement, the Augsburg Confession. ",
"...at the close of a memo it states 'Peace be with you' and you respond 'and also with you.'",
"...in 1512, Luther becomes a Doctor of Theology.",
"In October of 1516, Luther wrote to a friend: 'I could use two secretaries. I do almost nothing during the day but write letters. I am a conventional preacher, reader at meals, parochial preacher, director of studies, overseer of eleven monasteries...not to mention my own temptations with the world, the flesh, and the Devil. You see how lazy I am.'",
"What benefits do we receive from this sacrament? The benefits of this sacrament are pointed out by the words, given and shed for you for the remission of sins. These words assure us that in the sacrament we receive forgiveness of sins, life and salvation. For where there is forgiveness of sins, there is also life and salvation.",
"...you can't get into heaven without a casserole. ",
"Luther recalled the harsh discipline of his parents saying, 'I remember my mother once beat me until my hands bled for taking just one nut from the kitchen table.'",
"The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'",
"Luther earned the title 'father of the German hymn' due to his high output of hymns. Thirty-six of Luther's hymns have survived and can be directly attributed to him, although he probably composed many more than this.",
"...you notice the Kool Aid stock shoots up during the Vacation Bible School season. ",
"...in 1516, Luther begins a year of lectures on Galatians.",
"...you wonder why bread and wine are used for Communion instead of coffee and donuts. ",
"...in 1525, Luther held his first mass entirely in German at Wittenberg",
"How can eating and drinking do all this? It is not eating and drinking that does this, but the words, given and shed for you for the remission of sins. These words, along with eating and drinking, are the main thing in the sacrament. And whoever believes these words has exactly what they say, forgiveness of sins.",
"...in 1517, Luther nailed his 95 Theses denouncing papal corruption to the north door of Wittenberg's castle church, beginning the Reformation. HAPPY REFORMATION DAY!",
"...you are referred to as the frozen chosen! ",
"Luther lived at an extraordinary time. Here is a list of some of his contemporaries: Colombus, Machiavelli, Michelangelo, Raphael, Erasmus, Thomas More, Magellan, daVinci, Copernicus and Henry VIII.",
"Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.",
"...Commandment #11 is --If it's never been done that way before, don't do it. ",
"Once Luther was asked how he envisioned the appearance of the apostle Paul, he answered affectionately, 'I think he was a scrawny shrimp like Melanchthon.'",
"When is a person rightly prepared to receive this sacrament? Fasting and other outward preparations serve a good purpose. However, that person is well prepared and worthy who believes these words, given and shed for you for the remission of sins. But anyone who does not believe these words, or doubts them, is neither prepared nor worthy, for the words for you require simply a believing heart.",
"Miss Charlene Mason sang, 'I Will Not Pass This Way Again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.",
"...you make your hotdishes with cream of mushroom soup and your salads with Jell-O. ",
"The teachers at the school where Luther learned Latin beat their students with a rod if they were caught speaking German. Once, Luther himself was caned 15 times in one morning for not memorizing his Latin grammar tables.",
"...in 1483, Luther was born in Eisleben, Saxony to Hans and Margarete Luther. Happy Birthday Martin!",
"...in 1483, Luther was baptized one day after his birth. He was named Martin because the day of his christening was Saint Martin's day. It was common at that time to name a child after the saint on whose day the child was baptized.",
"...in 1520, Luther's books are burned in Cologne. Burning of his book in other cities follows shortly thereafter.",
"What is the 'Office of the Keys'? It is that authority which Christ gave to his church to forgive the sins of those who repent and to declare to those who do not repent that their sins are not forgiven.",
"...you sing 'Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus' while sitting down. ",
"Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight in the fellowship hall. Come and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.",
"Luther disliked the custom of the students rising when he entered the lecture hall. He said, 'I wish Philip (Melancthon) would give up this old fashion. These marks of honor always compel me to offer up a few more prayers to keep me humble; and if I dared, I would go away without reading my lecture.'",
"Luther was the first person to translate Aesop's Fables into German.",
"...a line item in the church budget is 'coffee maker maintenance.'",
"The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.",
"What are the words of Christ? Our Lord Jesus Christ said to his disciples: 'Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.' - John 20:23 'Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.' Matthew 18:18",
"...you think tuna hotdish is a gourmet meal. ",
"When reflecting on his days in the monastery, Luther said, 'Along with many others, I myself have experienced how peaceful and quiet Satan is inclined to be during one's early years as a monk.'",
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.",
"What is private confession? Private confession has two parts. First, we make a personal confession of sins to the pastor, and then we receive absolution, which means forgiveness as from God himself. This absolution we should not doubt, but firmly believe that thereby our sins are forgiven before God in heaven.",
"Fearing for his life after the Diet of Augsburg, Luther wrote to Spalatin, 'I am expecting the curses of Rome any day. I have everything in readiness. When they come, I am girded like Abraham to go I know not where, but sure of this, that God is everywhere.'",
"...your idea of an affirmation is 'This is most certainly true.' ",
"Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'hell' to someone who doesn't much care about you.",
"Eleven days before his death, Luther wrote to his wife Katherine, 'I have a better Caretaker than you and all the angels. It is He who lies in a manger, but at the same time sits at the right hand of God, the almighty Father. Therefore be at rest.'",
"...you feel guilty about not feeling guilty. ",
"What sins should we confess? Before God we should confess that we are guilty of all sins, even those which are not known to us, as we do in the Lord's Prayer. But in private confession, as before the pastor, we should confess only those sins which trouble us in heart and mind.",
"...in 1527, Elizabeth Luther was born to Martin and Katherine.",
"...it's 110 degrees outside and you still have coffee after services. ",
"Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.",
"...change means wearing your brown suit instead of your blue suit to church.",
"What are such sins? We can examine our everyday life according to the Ten Commandments - for example, how we act toward father or mother, son or daughter, husband or wife, or toward the people with whom we work, and so on. We may ask ourselves whether we have been disobedient or unfaithful, bad-tempered or dishonest, or whether we have hurt anyone by word or deed.",
"Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.",
"Today...Teen Sexuality Course, 8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.",
"...the most mail you receive all year is from the Stewardship Committee. ",
"Luther said, 'I never work better than when I am inspired by anger; for when I am angry, I can write, pray, and preach well, for then my whole temperament  is quickened, my understanding sharpened, and all mundane vexations and temptations depart.'",
"...in 1520, Luther burns Pope Leo's letter of excommunication and other papal documents under a large oak tree outside the walls of Wittenberg. He also burns books of church law and books written by his enemies.",
"...every time something changes, the old way was better. ",
"...you take your grandfather to McDonalds for breakfast and he asks for a large order of McLefsa. ",
"How might we confess our sins privately? We may say that we wish to confess our sins and to receive absolution in God's name. We may begin by saying, 'I, a poor sinner, confess before God that I am guilty of many sins.' Then we should name the sins that trouble us. We may close the confession with the words, 'I repent of all these sins and pray for mercy. I promise to do better with God's help.'",
"...you win $10 million in the lottery and decide to throw a party and money is no object, so you advertise in the church bulletin, rent the parish hall, and ask all of your friends to bring a side dish or salad. ",
"When Luther was a student at Eisenach he had a teacher name Trebonius who would come into the classroom every day and tip his hat respectfully to the the class before he sat down. Trebonius remarked, 'Who knows which of these young students may one day be a worshipful mayor, or a doctor, or a chancellor, or even a great ruler?'",
"...you hold your family reunion in the church basement. ",
"The church is glad to have with us today as our guest preacher Pastor Robert Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the hanging of the greens.",
"...a capital fund drive is needed to finance the new one million cup coffee urn. ",
"When Luther was in school, he and his classmates roamed the streets in the children's choir.  The children weren't doing this for fun, however. This was the accepted way for students to acquire food in those days. Thus originated the modern practice of singing Christmas carols.",
"...you can't have a meeting without having a meal. ",
"What if we are not troubled by any special sins? We should not torture ourselves with imaginary sins. If we cannot think of any sins to confess (which would hardly ever happen), we need not name any in particular, but may receive absolution because we have already made a general confession to God.",
"Of music, Luther said, 'The heart is satisfied, refreshed, and strengthened by music.'",
"The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.",
"...you serve Jell-O as a vegetable. ",
"...in 1525, Luther, from this day onward, said the entire mass in the German language. The vernacular liturgy incorporates the entire congregation into the worship experience. ",
"...sharing the peace during the service takes more time than the sermon. ",
"How may we be assured of forgiveness? The pastor may pronounce the absolution by saying, 'By the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ I forgive you your sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.' Those who are heavily burdened in conscience the pastor may comfort and encourage with further assurances from God's Word.",
"...you count coffee among the sacraments. ",
"Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.",
"I give thanks to you, my heavenly Father, through Jesus Christ your dear Son, that you have protected me through the night from all harm and danger and I ask that you would also protect me today from my sin and every danger, so that my life and actions may please you. Into your hands I commend my body, my soul, and all that is mine. Let your holy angel be with me, so that the wicked foe may have no power over me. Amen.",
"I give thanks to you, my heavenly Father, through Jesus Christ your dear Son, that you have graciously protected me today, and I ask you to forgive me all my sins, where I have done wrong, and graciously to protect me tonight. For into your hands I commend myself: my body, my soul, and all that is mine. Let your holy angel be with me, so that the wicked foe may have no power over me. Amen. "
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